While ADHD is described as life on Hard Mode, that phrasing got me thinking about what would life look on easy mode. And more importantly, how can we make our lives feel more like that?
In this episode, we’re going to explore what life on easy mode might look like and discuss actionable strategies to shift the dynamic of living with ADHD so that it doesn’t always feel like an uphill battle. How we can take steps to shift our ADHD from making life a struggle to something more manageable. From simplifying routines to harnessing the power of small changes there are a lot of ways that we can work on dialing down that difficulty.
Our first step here is defining what easy mode would look like and I feel like this is going to be a bit different for everyone, but let’s play along for a minute.
We’ll start with how we wake up in the morning. It feels effortless to get out of bed. In fact, we’ve got that spring in our step, and not only are we excited to wake up, we’ve got the energy to get going.
When we sit down to do our work, there is no lingering procrastination, and our thoughts are clear. We can get right into what we want to be working on, and our productivity comes effortlessly. It’s hyperfocus without feeling like we’re drawing from our future selves.
Taking care of our health doesn’t feel like a chore. We know the right foods to eat, and man, they are delicious. We naturally make the healthy choice—eating well and exercising regularly. When it comes time for bed, we’re ready to fall asleep right away because we feel like we’ve had an amazing day already.
We don’t spend too much time working, just enough to feel like what we’re doing matters. We have time for hobbies, family, and relaxation. Our relationships are smooth and fulfilling, and when a misunderstanding comes up, we can communicate clearly and easily resolve any conflict.
Decisions are easy to make because we have a clear sense of direction and purpose. Stress is minimal because we can face any challenges with confidence and calm.
Finally, there’s a pervasive sense of joy and contentment. We find satisfaction in small moments, and we have the freedom to pursue our passions and interests without obstacles holding us back.
Of course, no one lives a life like this, and if I’m honest, I feel like it might get a little boring, but that’s ADHD for you, right? Getting bored when things are “perfect.”
Now, as we start to switch gears here, I think it’s worth asking ourselves if we’ve ever experienced any of that easy mode. And maybe not to those extremes, but when have we felt like things are clicking and fall into place. Certainly, I’ve had times when hyperfocus has made productivity feel effortless, although that is a double-edged sword to be sure.
While living with ADHD can often feel like life is set to "hard mode,” it isn’t always like that.
Yes, the challenges we face are real and can make even the simplest tasks feel overwhelming. We have distractions everywhere, and it’s easy to lose focus. Procrastination can take over, making it difficult to start or complete tasks. And our emotional regulation can make many things a struggle, leading to frustration and anxiety.
And that’s the reality of living with ADHD—life can feel so much harder than it needs to be. Now, sometimes, that’s because our ADHD is making things harder. Sometimes, it’s because things are just hard. And sometimes it’s because we’re choosing to do things in the hardest way possible (you know because that’s the right way to do things).
The good news is we don’t have to stay in hard mode forever. There are strategies we can use to shift that dynamic and start living a life that feels more like easy mode—or at least slide down that difficulty meter to something a little more manageable.
I think this also might be a good place to mention the idea of The One Thing, which is a book by Gary Keller—yeah, the real estate guy.
In the book, Keller and his co-author Jay Papasan, advocate focusing on the single most important task in any area of your life to achieve extraordinary success. The core idea is that by identifying and concentrating on "The One Thing" that matters most, you can simplify your workload and focus your energy on what truly drives progress and results.
But more relevant for our conversation here is what they call the focusing question, which is:
“What’s the ONE Thing I can do such that by doing it, everything else will be easier or unnecessary?”
Now I realize upon first hearing that question, it can be a bit unclear about what exactly it’s talking about because the ways it’s worded does take a bit to think through, so here it is again:
“What’s the ONE Thing I can do such that by doing it, everything else will be easier or unnecessary?”
The most important thing to start with here is that this question does not ask about the most important action that you need to take. It is about what one action you can take that would make everything else easier. Of course, this can lead you to work on that important task, but first, we want to look at what’s going to make doing that task easier.
The next important concept to consider is the domino effect, which occurs when one action or event sets off a chain reaction, leading to a series of related events or consequences. The term comes from the physical act of setting up dominoes in a line and then knocking over the first one, which causes each subsequent domino to fall in turn.
In terms of the focusing question, the idea is that by identifying and completing the most crucial task, you create momentum that makes other tasks easier or unnecessary, just like how tipping the first domino causes all the others to fall.
This is a powerful concept because it encourages you to think strategically about your actions. If we can identify the most important task—the one that will have the greatest positive impact on our lives and work—and do that thing, it will make everything else easier.
And that’s what we want to focus on as we move forward here: what can we do that is going to make everything else we do easier (and possibly even unnecessary)?
With ADHD, we often want to do all the things, and prioritization can be a huge issue, so it’s important that we can find those key dominoes that can help knock down the next thing to come. In fact, sometimes that’s our first ONE Thing, identifying the priority so that we can actually do that thing first. Or maybe even our first ONE Thing just needs to be us slowing down so that we can figure those things out. Too often, my mindset is one of go-go-go, and what really needs to happen is slowing down, figuring out what needs to happen, and then executing that plan.
Let’s dive into some strategies that can help us make that shift.
The first place we should look is our habits and routines. One of the most effective ways we can work on making life easier is through consistent routines. Of course, I know that with ADHD, consistency isn’t always on the menu. In fact, more often than not, the only thing we really find in our consistency is how inconsistent we are.
But that’s also kind of the point here: what are the things we can do that will make a consistent routine easier?
What comes to mind for me is that I know that while on good days I can muddle through fairly well, but on days where I’m less than say 80% I can really struggle with executing on the basics. And even more to the point, when I’m struggling, I know I’m far more likely to skip steps—not intentionally, but rather because I just didn’t think about them. And while our neurotypical counterparts may say we’ll be able to remember the important stuff, I’ve had plenty of days where I’ve realized halfway through that I’ve forgotten my meds or coffee that morning. And those are things that definitely make the rest of the day easier, so they are kind of important.
So, what would make it easier or unnecessary for me to remember my morning routine? Well, a checklist sounds like it would make the whole remembering thing unnecessary. And to make things even easier for those hard mornings, I could have a simplified version of the checklist, the bare bones of what needs to happen so I am medicated and caffeinated when I make out the door (and that I’m not forgetting anything else that’s important for that day).
This idea also nicely transitions into our next big idea, which is about setting up our environment. One of the big obstacles we can face when trying to follow through with our habits and routines is how our space is set up. If I want to sit down to do some work and my workspace is filled with distractions and unnecessary clutter, it can make it a lot harder to get myself into work mode.
This is where the idea of the three parts of a task comes in (which are set up, the doing, and clean-up). If we think about what would make getting into work mode easier, having a clean workspace is definitely up there. One of the best ways to ensure that we have a clean workspace is to build in time to clean up when we’re done with the last thing we’re doing.
And let’s think about the focusing question one more time.
“What’s the ONE Thing I can do such that by doing it, everything else will be easier or unnecessary?”
We can start with a more general idea: hey, if I clean up my workspace, that will make getting work done way easier. But we don’t have to stop there, and in fact, we should once again apply our focusing question. What’s the one thing we can do that would make cleaning up our workspace easier?
Right now, my workspace is my laptop at the dining room table. It makes it a lot easier to get the table set after I’m done making dinner if I don’t also have to move all my work clutter off at the same time. This means that I need to assign a clean-up time after I’m done with work for the day. And really, that only takes a couple of minutes, but it saves a lot of stress later.
Asking this question on repeat is a fantastic way to build yourself a pathway to making everything in your life easier. Don’t stop asking until you have concrete actions that you can take, and then make a plan on how and when you are going to take those actions.
And remember that we can also leverage technology to help with managing our ADHD. Tools like task managers, calendars, and habit trackers can keep you organized and remind you of important tasks and deadlines. We can automate repetitive tasks, like bill payments or routine emails, which can also reduce our cognitive load and free up mental space for more important things.
We’re just looking for ways that we can make it so that we’re not spending all our cognitive resources before we get to the hard things. Because despite how we’re talking about trying to move towards easy mode, we’re always still going to have hard things that we have to do. We want to be able to focus on progress, not perfection. We’re aiming for small, consistent improvements rather than drastic changes. Over time, these small adjustments can lead to significant positive changes in how we manage our ADHD. And don’t forget to celebrate your achievements, no matter how small—they’re all steps towards making your life feel a little more like easy mode.
Often, with ADHD, it can feel like we get into analysis paralysis, but what I see most often in myself is that I only do that first part of the planning—the part where I’m coming up with the ideas—but then I fail to get myself into the mode of figuring out how to make those ideas into a reality. The focusing question is there to get you over that hurdle and figure out what you actually need to do to follow through with that planning.
Are we ever going to get to that idealized version of what easy mode could look like? Probably not. The reality of living with ADHD is that life can often feel so much harder than it needs to be, but we can work on making things easier and especially on not doing things in the hardest way possible.
This Episode's Top Tips
We can use the focusing question from the book The One Thing: "What’s the ONE Thing I can do such that by doing it, everything else will be easier or unnecessary?" to help us identify not only what would be most impactful for us to do, but what we should prioritizing
With the focusing question, we can also leverage the Domino Effect. We often don’t need to focus on the big things that we need to do but rather on the small and significant tasks that can set off a chain reaction of success, making other tasks easier or unnecessary.
Focus on progress, not perfection. Aim for small, consistent improvements rather than drastic changes, and celebrate every small win along the way.