Today on the podcast, we're exploring the lighter side of living with ADHD, featuring the hilariously honest Ellie Hino. A stand-up comic who finds humor in the everyday, Ellie has featured for comics such as Maria Bamford, Laurie Kilmartin, and Atsuko Okatsuka. She recently released her debut album, Soft Bones.
In our conversation today she brings her personal journey with ADHD into the spotlight, sharing stories and strategies that hit home for many of us. We discuss getting a diagnosis later life, getting started on medication, impulsivity and time mismanagement. This episode is packed with relatable stories and actionable tips for tackling the day-to-day hurdles of ADHD. Whether you're newly diagnosed, a seasoned pro, or just curious, you'll find valuable insights and plenty to relate to.
William Curb: Alright, well it's great to have you on the show. And let's start with your ADHD journey. I think that'd be a great place to start. And then we can kind of pivot into some of the comedy stuff.
Ellie Hino: Yeah, awesome. Thanks for having me. I was actually diagnosed not too long ago, maybe about five years ago, and I'm in my 40s. So I always knew that I had it.
I would joke about it all the time and people would joke about it with me. So one day I was looking up ADHD symptoms because I'm a mom. And right now my child is eight years old. And when he was about three or something, I was just curious, what are the signs and symptoms of ADHD in a kid? And then I started seeing all of these lists pop up about signs and symptoms for adult ADHD.
And I really, I saw some words in there like easily frustrated and has trouble, controlling emotions or impulsive stuff. It just really struck me and I was like, wait, is this all of the things that I struggle with so much in day to day life and the things that make my life hard? And so I got tested and I got the four hour test done and it was very fascinating. So I was diagnosed then and it made a lot of sense.
William Curb: I mean, there's so many things just like, yep, I mean, especially with parents and especially moms looking into ADHD for their kids and then being like, huh.
Ellie Hino: Hold on. Because I had joked about it, but I just never thought of it as a problem. I always thought like, yeah, but what am I gonna do about it? I was like, I'm not interested in taking anything for it, which I totally do now. I absolutely take medication and it changed my life for the better. But yeah, the guy who tested me, the psychologist told me that almost all of the adults he diagnosis with ADHD are mothers of young children because we were okay just with ourselves. We made it work. And then all of a sudden, so much responsibility and it just became so obvious and the distractions are so strong when you have a toddler.
William Curb: Yeah, the trend I noticed too is that with women, there's like a stronger inclination towards inattentive ADHD, which mainly affects yourself. Whereas like you have the classic young boy that's being super rambunctious, that's affecting everyone else. And so like they're gonna get the diagnosis because they're bothering everyone. You know, you're bothering yourself, people like, yeah, yeah, they're just quirky.
Ellie Hino: Yeah, I have both. And I think my impulsive stuff, that's where I really struggle actually. So I think there is some hyperactivity with me. I mean, less now that I'm in my mid 40s. But there's a lot of difficulty with stopping and thinking and making good choices.
William Curb: Well, it's really funny with like the impulsivity because we like think of it like as like this, oh, you're gonna get out of your chair or you're gonna be running around and stuff. And it's like, yeah, but it's also like being like, I'm gonna make this really rash decision right now and then be like, oh no, that was a terrible idea.
Ellie Hino: Yeah, I was actually trying to explain it to my husband the other day. And he was like, well, it's more like you get obsessed with something almost. And I was like, no, it's like, honestly, the thing that made it so obvious to me was during my ADHD testing, there was a specific test that he had me do where I like pressed a space bar every time an X popped up on the screen. I remember noticing that I just was pressing the space bar even though I hadn't decided to. It was like my body was making that choice for me. My brain was making that choice without me.
William Curb: Yeah, it's just like, oh, you have to push the button.
Ellie Hino: Oh, I wish I hadn't done that. That's not an X, you know?
William Curb: Yeah, and it's also funny because I'm like, I wanna score so well on these tests when I take them.
Ellie Hino: Sure, of course.
William Curb: I'm gonna ace this test that as an assessment of who I am. What is going on in my brain there?
Ellie Hino: I know, that's very interesting. And of course, that's like a very tiny picture of it, but then it's big things. Honestly, on my comedy album, I tell a story about taking my baby on a roller coaster when he was a baby, which was a poor choice. And it was not a big one and it was totally fine and everyone's okay. It was just a little thing, but it went a lot faster than I thought it was going to. It was honestly one of the last things I did before I was like, ooh, something's wrong with my brain.
William Curb: Those like aha moments were like, oh, this is not how I think normal people think. I'm not normal how other people are.
Ellie Hino: Exactly.
William Curb: I just wanna make sure for listeners, like yeah, it's fine. Our brains are fine. It's not like we're abnormal and it's weird.
Ellie Hino: Oh yeah.
William Curb: We think differently.
Ellie Hino: We think a lot differently. We really like fun. At least I do. I really like fun. The roller coaster looked really fun and it was. It just wasn't a super well thought out decision.
William Curb: I mean, I think that's the perfect example of impulsivity. It's like, oh, I want to do this thing. It'll be fine. I'll do it. And then like part way through, I'm like, I did not think this through. I thought I had.
Ellie Hino: Yeah.
William Curb: That's one of the really interesting things with the ADHD too is cause we have this visual from pop culture of it like this being quirky and all these things. And then when you like, you look up the symptoms, you're like, oh, this is different. This is not just quirky. This is impairing in weird ways.
Ellie Hino: Yeah. That's why I went and got tested because I realized these are the things that I really struggle with that make me depressed and make me anxious. And I remember my therapist even said like, I'm sorry I didn't see this. And we kept just talking about regular anxiety this whole time because it's pretty clear where a lot of that anxiety comes from now.
William Curb: Yeah. I was thinking about this just recently with I'm rarely late to things despite my ADHD, but it's because it manifests as this like huge anxiety about what time things start. I'm like checking the clock constantly. It's like, oh, this is a bad coping strategy that I've developed.
Ellie Hino: Yeah. I remember with being late one time, I used to have this job at a comedy theater and I lived literally right behind the comedy theater. So I just had to walk out my door through an alley to the door. It was incredible. But I would still be late. And I remember my coworker and friend was like, I don't know how you do it.
You just decide that something else is more important in the time. And I was like, no, absolutely not. That is wrong. I am so focused on getting there on time. My brain just decides things take less time than they do. Even though I know how long it takes to put on my shoes and walk down the stairs. But in the moment, I think I can do it faster.
William Curb: And it's also funny when you get like the opposite side of things where I'm like, man, I'm not going to hang up my coat. That's going to take forever. Like that takes two seconds. Why am I just throwing my coat on the floor all the time?
Ellie Hino: Seriously, my number one ADHD hack is hooks.
William Curb: Yeah.
Ellie Hino: Hooks everywhere. My husband laughs at me because he's like, you're obsessed with hooks. And it's because, yeah, a hanger on a bar, taking that off, putting my coat on that. No way, that takes too long. I won't do it. But I will hang it on a hook if it's in the right place.
William Curb: Yeah. I love command hooks quick because I can just stick them wherever I need them.
Ellie Hino: For sure.
William Curb: This is a great place for this. This is where this is going. And if I'm wrong, I can take it down.
Ellie Hino: Yeah. One time we lived in an apartment. We have our own house now. But when we were renting, one of the apartments we rented was previously lived in by the owners. And usually apartments are not lived in by anyone who owns it. But because they had lived there and they had money, it was like everything was very functional. And it was awesome. There was a place for everything. And everything was well thought out where it was. It was kind of mind blowing. And it helped me a lot with organizing and just realizing, OK, if your shampoo bottle doesn't fit there, let's figure out a place for it to go so that it doesn't just end up on the floor or whatever. You know.
William Curb: Yeah. Always great when you've been experiencing some of the downfalls of my current house. Does not have a lot of storage things. And so we're trying to feel like stuff is just going everywhere. And it's really frustrating when we're like, we want to put stuff away, but we don't know where to. And this is making it doubly messy for us.
Ellie Hino: That's so hard. I have 1 million closets, but most of them are not functional. The one in my bedroom, I just took the doors off of it. And I never hanged them. up and I found that with a dresser I honestly would just put things in a pile anyway. So now I just have places where clean piles can be and some of them get folded and put on the shelves that are there too but it's like I can see everything and that helps a lot actually.
William Curb: Yeah it is amazing how much having that visual like access to like oh I don't have to like mentally picture what's available I can just visually scan it go okay this is what I'm gonna wear. Yeah. My closet I just have like baskets now I went away from dressers.
Ellie Hino: Baskets that's great yes that's pretty much what I have too little bins, bins and shelves.
William Curb: Yeah at some point I should get like real ones right now they're piling boxes.
Ellie Hino: Oh whatever. Yeah like that's part of it isn't it like you look and you think okay well I have been trying not to have a pile of clothes my whole life and there is always a pile of clothes and like I know there's a dirty pile over there and there's a clean pile over here what if I just didn't try to change that but I made the pile have a place to be.
William Curb: Yeah exactly it's working within the system that already exists it's like okay this is what I do can I modify this so that I'm not quite as embarrassed if someone else sees it.
Ellie Hino: Right exactly.
William Curb: So for me it seems like a natural extension to do comedy with ADHD because we're somewhat ridiculous people is that something you found on your journey into going into comedy.
Ellie Hino: I mean I did comedy long before I ever really knew I had ADHD for sure I did theater when I was young and then I did improv and sketch improv is interesting I mean a lot of people in both comedy like stand-up comedy and improv comedy have ADHD I would say 90 percent but like improv you're literally turning off the part of your brain kind of that's judging you and stopping you from doing things so being impulsive and being able to easily access your impulsive first feelings and thoughts are is really helpful so yeah I think it makes a lot of sense I'm more high energy I think than a lot of stand-up.
Stand-up goes through trends of what's the style as of late and I think it's changing now but for a while it was very low energy and like observational so I kind of stuck out for a while and it's whoo she's got a lot of energy.
William Curb: And I think it just helps to be like yeah I think comedy is also a great way to cope with my ADHD where I like see something and I'm just like you know it's like oh man I did this in the dumbest way possible and rather than be like beating myself up about it being like and that's hilarious because I could have saved myself so much work.
Ellie Hino: Absolutely a lot of my comedy is self-deprecating I mean there's a confidence behind it that makes it not annoying and sad but it's very self-aware.
William Curb: That's such a vital piece of it too because yeah a lot of people like when they go into the self-deprecation it's like in a place where it's the shitty voice in the back of their head that's where that self-deprecation is coming from whereas if it's coming from like I did a dumb thing but wow.
Ellie Hino: You know what I'm definitely not the only person who's done a thing like this and maybe some other people would find this amusing.
William Curb: Absolutely so you have a new album coming out your first one right?
Ellie Hino: Yeah it just came out. It's my first album it's called Soft Bones and you can find it anywhere that comedy albums exist.
William Curb: I'm like, where do comedy albums exist?
Ellie Hino: iTunes, Spotify, Pandora.
William Curb: The funny thoughts that pop in are like they exist places. Oh yeah I know where those places are.
Ellie Hino: Yeah you do.
William Curb: Yeah I've been getting so much ADHD comedy on YouTube recently like the algorithm's just like we've probably when I started watching some of your stuff that was before we booked and I was like oh and it's like oh this is what you want.
Ellie Hino: Oh for sure they know they always know. TikTok has me pegged real good.
William Curb: TikTok thinks I'm a lesbian which is a little strange but,
Ellie Hino: they think I am too but they're not totally wrong.
William Curb: Yeah I'm like I have very similar interests but
Ellie Hino: I love that TikTok thinks everyone's a lesbian and that is fun.
William Curb: It's amazing what the algorithms will decide about you and then you're like well I mean I know so many people that like have gone through their diagnosis because of that because they're like yeah TikTok thinks I have ADHD and then people are like well why do you think TikTok thinks that?
Ellie Hino: Exactly I think everyone has ADHD. Everyone I meet I'm like mmm they have ADHD.
William Curb: It is funny how like once you like kind of get like oh especially within like friend groups you're just like oh this is kind of why we're all friends.
Ellie Hino: Yes for sure.
William Curb: Don't annoy the crap out of each other with our idiosyncrasies here. I do find a lot of like neurodivergent people flock together because it's just like they're like oh you get my brain great. Yeah let me info dump on you about this subject and you're gonna be probably fascinated too.
Ellie Hino: Sure also though I find that sometimes I meet someone and I'm like oh they really bug me and I'm like why why do I dislike them or why do they irritate me and then I'm like oh it's cuz they're me. All the things that bug me about me I can see so clearly.
William Curb: Yeah yeah there's definitely like uh is that a ADHD conference last November and there's like sitting in a room with everyone with ADHD and I'm like I am noticing everyone fidgeting right now this is not great.
Ellie Hino: Yeah.
William Curb: This is distracting me from listening to anything.
Ellie Hino: That would be hard.
William Curb: And then I'm like I know why they're doing it but
Ellie Hino: Everyone sit still.
William Curb: Let me concentrate and I'm gonna still use my fidget toy but mine's quiet and it's fine. There's so many fun sides of ADHD too that it is like yeah like as you said you really like fun and ADHD people also tend to really like fun and it's just like oh yeah we're gonna have a good time.
Ellie Hino: Yeah we're gonna find the way to get our dopamine. If we can't have it naturally we will produce it.
William Curb: We'll find a way yeah hopefully it will be good for everyone because.
Ellie Hino: Yes a healthy way.
William Curb: I know some people that do it through arguing and I'm like can we not.
Ellie Hino: Oh really is that does that release dopamine?
William Curb: Well not exactly but like the attention and the like animation like it can for certain people like for me I just like.
Ellie Hino: The intensity of it.
William Curb: This is upsetting and I hate it but yeah like it is. Yeah. Very invigorating for some people to be like I'm going to like win.
Ellie Hino: That makes sense I guess it's like it's stimulating so sure okay interesting.
William Curb: That's why I think I have trouble with social media sometimes because I'm like I'm going and finding stimulation and things I don't want to be reading. Yeah. I'm reading these angry comment sections and getting myself annoyed and I'm like oh this is really stimulating.
That's why I keep open these comments on YouTube or Reddit or something because I know I'm not going to enjoy what I read but it is. Yeah. My brain seeking out some sort of stimulation.
Ellie Hino: Yeah totally that makes sense.
William Curb: I do know that is a habit that some people have where they're like yeah I need that simulation somewhere and I'm just going to do it in a terrible way.
Ellie Hino: Yeah that's interesting I never thought about the like negative emotions are also very stimulating.
William Curb: Yeah or doing it through food or I mean sure I mean that's fun.
Ellie Hino: Oh my gosh yeah I hear you on that.
William Curb: I had friends where would be like we're going to go to this food court everyone has to get a taco some pizza and a hamburger we're going to eat them all together and we're going to see who can get to the table first and I'm like you know in retrospect maybe those guys aren't neurotypical.
Ellie Hino: Yeah that's pretty aggressive.
William Curb: And like the guy that came up with it was like you know I meant this like for like the entire day and we're like no we're doing this as a meal.
Ellie Hino: Right now. That's funny.
William Curb: Yeah I mean with those after like we'd go to a Frisbee tournament and do that afterwards so we'd be running around all day so.
Ellie Hino: No that's awesome I love it.
William Curb: We were hungry but I was just.
Ellie Hino: He's like I'm not eating my burger my pizza and my taco in my car alone like everyone else I'm going to invite all my friends and make them do it too.
William Curb: And you don't want to get like the worst versions like okay let's get a good burger let's get some good pizza.
Ellie Hino: Heck yeah.
William Curb: Well I've had a pleasure talking to you is there anything you want to leave the audience with.
Ellie Hino: Thanks for listening and buy some more hooks hang them around that's my main advice.
William Curb: Well I think people will enjoy it and they should definitely go check out your album as we said anywhere that comedy albums are sold they can figure it out if I can figure it out.
Ellie Hino: For sure.
William Curb: But yeah thank you so much for coming on the show I really enjoyed talking to you.
William Curb: Thanks for having me Will.
This Episode's Top Tips
Make living spaces ADHD-friendly with functional organization and storage solutions that work for you. Think of using hooks instead of traditional hangers or bins and baskets for clothes instead of keeping your clothes in a dresser.
We can channel our impulsivity into creative outlets like comedy or improv that allow us to embrace those sides of ourselves on a regular basis.
Acknowledge and plan for the real time it takes to do tasks, while it may feel like it only takes a minute for us to get out the door we acknowledge all the steps involved if we want o have an accurate picture of how long things take.