I was recently thinking about some of the ways that ADHD can manifest in seemingly opposite ways. One moment, we're laser-focused, and the next, we're completely derailed by the tiniest hiccup.
In this episode, we’ll be exploring the idea of the dichotomy of ADHD. How it can feel like even our symptoms are inconsistent. We’ll be looking at how our ADHD brains can take us from hyperfocus to total distraction, from being impulsive to utterly paralyzed, and why sometimes we thrive in chaos but crumble over minor setbacks.
And we’ll also be looking at how while many of these ideas may feel like they are in total opposition, that they may in fact have a similar root cause.
One of the clearest examples of the dichotomies that exist within ADHD is our variable ability to focus. The contrast between hyperfocus and the inability to focus highlights this.
Hyperfocus is a state in which we become so engrossed in a task that we lose track of time and our surroundings. While it can be incredibly productive, leading to deep dives into projects or hobbies that result in high-quality work, it can also deplete our mental reserves.
On the other hand, there’s the inability to focus, where maintaining attention on even simple tasks feels impossible. Distractions are constant, and the mind seems to wander off on its own, making it difficult to complete tasks or follow through on responsibilities.
Of course, this dichotomy isn’t quite as extreme as it feels like because if we look at both of the extremes of being too focused on a thing and being unable to focus on something, we can see that, really, this is just a single issue of regulating our focus. While hyperfocus is often seen as an ADHD superpower, it can come with a host of downsides. The most clear being that we don’t always get to choose what we’re hyperfocused on. Sure, it’s great when we’re deeply engaged with work that we want to be doing, but what about when we’re late meeting up with someone because we were too busy reorganizing our spice cabinet?
Even though this dichotomy stems from the same inability to regulate our attention, vastly different strategies are needed to manage each outcome.
When we’re entering a hyperfocus state, it’s essential that we set up external reminders or timers to help us take breaks. On the flip side, when we struggle to focus, we can try using techniques like the Pomodoro method, where we work in short bursts with breaks in between or eliminate distractions as much as possible to create a more conducive environment for focus.
Similarly, we have the tension between impulsivity and task paralysis.
On one hand, impulsivity drives us to act quickly, often without thinking. It leads to jumping from one task to another, starting new projects before finishing the old ones, and making snap decisions that we later regret. It’s that urge to do something—anything—just to keep moving.
On the flip side, there’s task paralysis, where the sheer number of options or the overwhelming nature of a task causes us to freeze. We might sit at our desks, staring at a to-do list, unable to even begin because the tasks just feel insurmountable. It’s a frustrating cycle: the more we feel we should be doing, the harder it becomes to do anything at all.
And looking at this, I wonder if, once again, we might have a similar origin point to what’s going on. What I see going on here is that in both cases, we’re not doing the things that we want to be doing; one is from too much action, and the other through inaction.
Now, I don’t want to say this is the case for all of this, but I wonder if there is some aspect of not knowing where to get started with something that can drive this behavior. I know that when I don’t have a clear starting point, I can develop that paralysis where I don’t know what to do. But also, here, I feel like there is an issue of prioritization where my brain shuts down because, again, I just don’t know where to start.
This applies to impulsivity as well. Instead of shutting down, my brain is just doing something, but with no clear direction of what it should be doing. It’s trying to do all the things because it doesn’t know what it should prioritize.
Fortunately, we can work on this pretty well by, breaking down tasks into the tiniest possible steps, and setting small, manageable goals so that we can figure out what exactly we want to work on.
I know my impulsivity is drastically reduced when I know what I’m supposed to be doing and where to start, and the same goes for my task paralysis.
Onto one of the more significant dichotomies in ADHD, which is the tension between the need for structure and the need for spontaneity. I often talk about the power of embracing routines and how they can offer a sense of control over the whirlwind of daily activities. The structure they provide can add a sense of stability and predictability. It can help with task organization, managing time, and reducing the chaos that can often accompany our ADHD symptoms.
But structure can also feel stifling. My brain often craves novelty and spontaneity—the excitement of the unknown, the thrill of diving into something new without a plan. I mean, even writing the phrase “can add a sense of stability and predictability” in the above paragraph made me go, “Well, that sounds boring.”
Spontaneity can spark creativity, fuel motivation, and make tasks feel less like chores and more like adventures. It can be great to ride that wave of motivation when it hits you, although that can also be part of that earlier impulsivity where we start a lot of projects but don’t necessarily finish them.
Balancing these needs requires flexibility. It's about finding a structure that allows for spontaneity. I like using time block planning for this because it allows me to block out time that I’m going to be focused on working, but I can often choose what I’m doing during that time. It’s also about building my schedule so that I’m not filling every minute of the day, but more like building a scaffolding that I can work from. It gives me a sense of what my day might look like without being overly prescriptive. The goal is to create a framework that provides stability but doesn’t completely eliminate the freedom to explore and adapt as you go.
Moving on, we have another particularly challenging and somewhat frustrating dichotomy in the way we react to extreme situations versus minor inconveniences. For many people in the ADHD community, they talk about how, in extreme situations, they find they are able to thrive. The heightened stakes seem to bring out the best in them, activating their focus and problem-solving abilities. It's as if the urgency provides the stimulation needed to push past the usual barriers.
However, those same people, when faced with minor inconveniences—small delays, trivial frustrations, or mundane tasks—the reaction can be disproportionately intense. What might be a slight hiccup for others can feel like an insurmountable obstacle for someone with ADHD. The frustration or anxiety triggered by these minor issues can derail an entire day, leading to a spiral of negative emotions and unproductive behaviors. For example, I’ve had my day thrown completely off track from a change in plans, where I can drop into that task paralysis we were talking about earlier.
To manage this dichotomy, it's helpful to build awareness around your reactions. Recognize when a minor inconvenience is causing an outsized emotional response, and try to reframe the situation. Practice techniques like mindfulness or deep breathing to regain perspective. Additionally, preparing for minor inconveniences—by leaving extra time for tasks or having backup plans—can reduce their impact and keep them from becoming bigger than they are.
It’s also important to realize that on the other side of things, when we are thriving in those extreme situations, it is often because we’re over-functioning, meaning that we’re taking on far more than we should. While this stepping up to the challenge can be incredibly beneficial in the moment, it is also important to realize that, similarly to hyperfocus, we’re borrowing reserves from our future selves. Over-functioning in the long term can lead you to neglect your personal needs, strain your relationships and to burnout.
To be clear here, I’m not saying that we shouldn’t step up to a challenge when presented with these situations, but we need to be cognizant of what we’re doing. A big piece of the negative side of over-functioning comes from the fact that we’re neglecting our own needs during this time, don’t do that. I know easier said than done, but we need to separate out the fact that just because we can do something doesn’t mean that it’s a good thing for us to do. You have your own needs, and it’s important that you are meeting them as well; doing so will serve everyone better in the long run.
This idea also got me thinking about how often I will get into a cycle where I feel like I need to get more done, but also I’m tired, and I should rest, but what actually happens is that I end up doing neither. While not so much of a dichotomy in itself, I felt like the opposing ideas did fit the theme of the episode.
I think it’s an important concept for us to think about, because when I say that I end up doing neither, it’s usually not a conscious choice, it’s just the outcome of not committing to either things. Or, usually, it’s me trying to commit to skipping taking a break and then being so tired that I can’t actually get anything done. Or I don’t really take a real break I just kind of let myself procrastinate for a bit and I end up scrolling on social for an hour and that didn’t do anything to help me feel rested.
Instead, this is where we commit to taking that break so that we can come back and actually do the work. It doesn’t serve us to take these half-measures here. I know in these situations that either way, I’m going to end up taking time away from doing my work, but in one, I’m doing so intentionally, and I won’t feel guilty about taking the time off because that’s what the plan was anyway. Plus I might get to do something that I actually wanted to do instead of whatever I ended up procrastinated with.
As we wind down here, I want to say that the dichotomies of ADHD are not a sign of inconsistency or failure; they’re a natural part of how the ADHD brain works. By understanding these opposing traits, we can work on learning to navigate them more effectively, finding strategies that help us balance the extremes. As you explore these dualities in your own life, be kind to yourself. Recognize that managing ADHD is a journey, and it’s okay to have days where one side of the dichotomy outweighs the other.
And until next time, stay focused, stay awesome, and keep hacking your ADHD.
This Episode's Top Tips
Realize that many of the dichotomies of ADHD actually come from the same source, such as hyperfocus and being unable to focus both stem from a lack of ability to regulate our focus.
Often, when we encounter one of these dichotomies, we need to work on reframing what’s going on so that we can apply an appropriate strategy.
Regardless of what you’re doing, but especially when you are over-functioning, it’s important to take care of your needs.