Question 1
Hello, my name is Eva and live in the Netherlands carefully, but I'm Greek. So I'm not a native speaker in English. I hope I speak clearly and understandable. So my problem is that I originally started studying, the university. Uh, here in mustard where I live and the problem with that, I facing some challenges.
I'm not able to complete many of the assignments that I've been given. And I read somewhere that one root cause of procrastination is actually a low confidence is that you, you don't believe you are able to do something. That's why you postpone it. And I was wondering, what is your suggestion? how I can battle that.
Thank you.
Hi, Eva, thanks for the question.
Procrastination can come from a lot of things, such as that we don't know what to do. So that can come from decision fatigue, trying to figure out what we want to do next. and that applies to things like sequencing where we maybe know what we need to do, but don't know how to put everything together.
Or we can be feeling stressed and the anxiety can make it more difficult to just try and start anything or we've got low energy or we're having trouble focusing.
There are tons of reasons that we procrastinate and yeah, having low confidence is absolutely a reason that we might be procrastinating.
And I think it's a combination of a few things because while it is its own thing, it also comes from things like perfectionism, fear of failure, fear of criticism, And a lot of this all stems from imposter syndrome, which is that feeling of self-doubt around our skills, talents, or accomplishments, where we're scared of being exposed as a fraud.
so what we can do from here is try and narrow down and figure out where our sticking point really is on this issue. Because with all these things are different ways that we might want to approach it. let's start with, why are we feeling this low confidence? Do we actually not know what we're doing?
If that's the case, then counterintuitively here, this is the best-case scenario, because our answer is fairly straightforward because the good news is that we can learn how to do new things. Now that doesn't make it any easier, but it is very straightforward in that if our low confidence comes from while I don't know how to do this. Okay. How can I learn how to do this?
Now, if we're stuck because of perfectionism or some other form of imposter syndrome, we might have a little bit more work that we need to do. One of the biggest issues with imposter syndrome is that it never really goes away.
There are plenty of very successful people who still greatly suffer from the belief that they shouldn't be where they're at, that they're successful, just because of luck. And I mentioned this because one of the things that can help with imposter syndrome is just understanding that other people feel it too, Because often we feel like a fraud because how did I get here? Oh, well, if they're feeling it too, that might make more sense of why I don't know why I got here
Now, If you want to dive more into imposter syndrome, I've actually got two episodes that you can check out episode 60 Among Us and then episode 61, masquerading as adults also expands into some of those ideas as well.
And you'll be able to find both of those episodes in the show notes.
Now, let's talk about perfectionism for a little bit. and here we're going to have a little bit of a process of breaking down some of our mental barriers that have this demand of unreasonable excellence, I'm absolutely a perfectionist in recovery because I don't know if all my tendencies are ever really going to completely go away, But for me, a big part has been finding smaller places to start and really embracing the process of a rough draft.
For example, I can get stuck writing an email because I don't know what I want to say. And I kind of just stare at that empty reply box. So a strategy I sometimes employ is to write my response in a different text editor and allow myself to include things that I wouldn't necessarily have in a real email. I might ask myself questions. I need to answer, or just quickly list what I need to say in bullet points. Or I might write something funny about the person that I'm replying to, to kind of ease my mental tension.
Then once I have something down, I can edit and create that final product that I send out,
but really the most important step with perfectionism is embracing the imperfect. I've got an episode about this as well that you can check out episode 48, perfectly imperfect, also will be in the show notes.
All right. I hope that helps. thanks for the question.
Question 2
Hi, William. I just listened to your episode on taking breaks and I have what feels like a silly question. I understand the value of taking breaks and why it's so important, but I just don't know what to do. I have a physical disability, so often physical activities, like taking a walk aren't feasible.
And right now I'm working a job that's really, really stressful to me. So I have hard time trying to meditate or doing anything mentally strenuous in that, in that vein. but trying to do activities that are just fun, just there's nothing that takes 15 minutes. Like. If I want to read, that's going to take away too long.
If I want to do any kind of craft, that's going to take too long. And it all just means I'm not going to come back on time. So I'm not sure exactly what to do on my breaks. any suggestions you might have, I would really appreciate. Thank you for everything you do with the podcast. It's been super helpful to me.
Thanks.
Definitely not a silly question here, and I really appreciate it.
It also reminds me that I need to be a little bit more cognitive about making sure my content is more inclusive because what I'm making is supposed to go for people from all kinds of backgrounds and yeah, you might not be able to just take a walk for any number of reasons.
With that said, let's dive into some ideas that might be helpful here.
You mentioned that meditation wasn't working for you but extending from that one way we can give our brains a break is just letting them daydream for a little bit The idea is similar to meditation, but it's far less directed. Sometimes I'll just sit back in my chair and let my mind wander for a bit.
And that can be really invigorating as a break or if I can, I'll often just go and stare out my window while not thinking about anything in particular. Sure. There's going to be a lot of stuff that pops into my head, but I'm not really trying to glom on to any specific ideas, just letting my mind wander and seeing where my thoughts take me, of course, doing this, make sure you're setting a timer so that, you know, when you should be coming back from this break.
Additionally, you might be able to do some light stretching, rolling out your neck, or just getting your arms over your head. I'm not sure what your limits are with your disability, so whatever's within reason there, maybe just stretching out your hands.
All right. Reading was another thing that you said you had trouble with because 15 minutes was just not long enough. But it could be worthwhile to look into some shorter stuff that might interest you.
Magazines have fairly short articles that are fairly easy to get into. Although I would suggest avoiding reading anything online. If you're already doing computer work, one key aspect of our break is making sure that we're switching things up a little bit and changing what our focus is on.
So if you're doing something on a computer, try doing something, not on a computer. If you're doing something on your phone, something not on your phone, just so that we're switching things up mentally.
Additionally, here a collection of short stories could be good.
Next, I'm kind of thinking of puzzles or brain teasers. I know you didn't want anything too mentally strenuous, but I love doing things like sudokus and number puzzles, or maybe doing some kind of art. While a lot of these creative things can take a good amount of time. You could just challenge yourself to see how much of a sketch you could get done in a 15-minute break, or if it isn't a full sketch you're doing maybe just doodling while listening to music can be a nice way to have that break.
Snacks are another good option here, but probably not for every break, having a planned snack can be a great way to have a pick-me-up and don't forget hydration as well here so you're not getting that mental fog from not drinking enough water.
If you're looking for more of a productive break, you could think about doing a quick decluttering of your desk or doing a quick free write or journaling entry as a kind of mental decluttering. I always find writing down all those thoughts in my head helped me refocus on what I need to do because I'm not trying to hold on to all those thoughts tumbling around in my head.
One of my other favorite ways to take a break also is just playing with Legos or whatever's on my desk. It might seem a little silly, but it's just a great way to get my brain to detach from what I'm doing. And that's also a way that I can just build a little. And it's easy for me to stop, and then when my next break, I can go back to the Legos again,
And we can expand this idea here by going. Yeah, we'll just do a little bit of something. It doesn't have to be a complete thing that I finished during my break. Just something to help me relax and unwind a bit so that I'm not trying to stay focused for such a long time.
All right. I hope that helps really appreciate it. This question. And, the insights, it gave me to thinking about how to make my content. So thank you.
